Human and Professional: How to Manage Emotions at Work
How emotional regulation can set us up for success at work.
Let’s be honest—emotions at work can be tricky. You want to stay professional, but sometimes your emotions seem to have other plans. Maybe you’ve felt frustration bubbling up during a meeting or the sting of disappointment after being passed over for a role. How you handle these feelings can make or break your career.
Today, let’s break down three common emotional responses at work: emotional saturation, suppression, and regulation. Knowing the differences between them can help you stay both human and professional.
1. Emotional Saturation
This is when emotions overwhelm us, derailing productivity and professional interactions. Imagine reaching a boiling point where every feeling—frustration, sadness, anger—spills out uncontrollably. This isn’t a lack of resilience; it’s simply emotional overload.
The Risk: You might say or do something you regret, damaging your relationships or reputation.
Example: Jamie’s manager informs him that the project he wanted to lead will be taken over by his colleague Leslie instead. Jamie’s red face and clenched fists betray his anger.
Jamie (angrily): “Seriously? Leslie? This is ridiculous! Shows how little you understand what this project requires!”
Outcome: Jamie’s emotional explosion alienates his manager, who sees him as unprofessional, and limits future opportunities.
2. Emotional Suppression
Here, we push emotions down, hoping they’ll disappear. It’s the “poker face” approach that prioritizes appearances over authenticity. Harvard Business School Professor Ashley Whillans warns that this strategy often backfires, increasing stress and reducing job satisfaction. Suppression can lead to burnout and erode trust in relationships.
The Risk: Suppression disconnects you from emotions and others, leaving you feeling resentful and unfulfilled.
Example: Jamie, learning the same news, keeps a neutral expression but is boiling inside.
Jamie (flatly): “I see. Sure, I’ll do what’s needed.”
Jamie’s Thoughts: “After all my effort, they still chose someone else? I’m furious, but showing it will make things worse.”
Outcome: Jamie walks away feeling undervalued and disengaged. He ruminates on his boss’s decision, letting resentment build.
3. Emotional Regulation
This approach accepts emotions and transforms them into constructive action. Regulation doesn’t deny feelings; it helps you channel them into solutions. Psychologist Daniel Goleman explains, “Self-regulation lets you make decisions informed by emotions without being ruled by them.”
The Benefit: Regulation maintains professionalism while fostering trust, resilience, and authenticity.
Example: Jamie pauses, processes the news, and asks constructive questions.
Jamie (calmly): “Thank you for letting me know. I was excited about the opportunity. Could you share what led to the decision? How can I best contribute to the project’s success?”
Jamie’s Thoughts: “This is disappointing, but I can learn from this and show my value elsewhere.”
Outcome: Jamie builds trust with his boss and shows maturity. His thoughtful approach positions him for future leadership roles.
Why Self-Regulation Works
If suppression is stuffing emotions in a box and saturation is letting them explode, self-regulation is like organizing them on a shelf. It acknowledges emotions without letting them take control. Here’s why this approach matters:
Authenticity Builds Trust: Suppression creates a “surface acting” effect, where others sense your inauthenticity. Regulation fosters openness and genuine connections, improving team dynamics.
Enhanced Problem-Solving: Research shows that emotionally regulated individuals think more clearly and approach challenges more creatively.
Burnout Prevention: Suppression is exhausting, while regulation reduces stress and promotes long-term resilience.
How to Cultivate Self-Regulation
Think of self-regulation as a skill, like coding or troubleshooting. You can develop it with consistent practice.
Pause Before Reacting
Take a deep breath or count to five. This momentary pause can stop impulsive reactions and give you time to think.Name Your Emotions
Expand your emotional vocabulary. Are you feeling “disappointed” or “frustrated”? Naming emotions helps you understand them better. Dr. Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart is an excellent resource for emotional literacy.Reframe the Situation
Known as cognitive reappraisal, reframing means changing how you interpret an event. For example, instead of thinking, “I failed,” shift to, “I learned something valuable for next time.”Use Visualization Techniques
Like athletes envisioning success, visualize how you’d like to respond. For example, instead of dwelling on a past failure, recall a moment when your contributions were valued. This can shift your emotions and improve your posture and tone. Inspired by Dr. Arlie Hochschild’s work, this technique aligns internal feelings with external expressions, known as deep acting.
The Takeaway
Emotions at work are normal—it’s how you handle them that matters. Saturation or suppression might feel easier in the moment, but self-regulation is the long-term solution to building trust, fostering resilience, and staying engaged.
Start small: pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully. Over time, self-regulation becomes second nature, helping you thrive as both a professional and a human.
You’ve got this.